Dear Doctor's Wives

Dear Doctor's wives,

Someone has to stop you girls.  Look, I like you, and everyone I've heard say this is someone I like, and in some cases, are women for whom I have profound respect.

Never say the words, "I was basically a single mom," ever again.

Angelfish, we get it.  You have/had to parent alone while he was in xyz part of his education or career.  

But a single mom is someone who has the financial burden of raising her child/children, on top of everything else.  

Parenting is hard.  Mothering is hard.  Doing it without the physical support of your spouse is devastating.  And you are grappling with student loan debt- we hear you.

You are/were parenting alone.  This is different than being a single mom.  The title "single mom" elicits concern because these are women who really are actually doing it actually for real alone.

The weight that moms carry is too heavy.  We cannot do it alone.  It is crushing.  

But sweet sister, if you have a husband, you're not a single mom.  You have money that you can use to care for your children, even if it's money that's on loan for now.  That is the critical difference, between what you are managing, and what they are managing.    

I'm not talking to other women in other circumstances, because weirdly, the only people I've heard say this is doctors' wives.  And I don't even know many doctor's wives.  Y'all just decided this was going to be how y'all describe the difficulty of being a doctor's wife with kids, and you say it into microphones for some reason.  But it's the wrong term.

So, babylove, don't try to steal the concern that single moms need to gather a community to raise their kids in the best way single moms can provide.  They need that.

Use the term "parenting alone" or something else that helps you to express your feelings and needs.

I hope I've made it clear that what you're expressing is valid, and hard and that I agree, you need support.  Just don't say you're a mermaid if you have legs, okay?

Love,

Lauren