Dear Baby - part IV

Dear Baby,

You are a boy baby, and I am learning new things about what that means about you, I think, more each day as you elder brother grows more into a "person".  He's a lot easier at age 3 than your eldest sister was at the same age- but don't tell her I said so.  That said, I know only very little about you as a "person", but what I do know, I like very much.

Baby, you are a peaceful man.  You are thoughtful, and I think its funny when you stick your feet into my ribs and I push them away, you oblige and don't put them back.  This is new for my children, and I applaud you for your obedience.  You sometimes- I don't know if you're stretching or just playing with having extremities but- you like- scratch along your squishy bubble home in a big, slow, yoga-like arch and it feels sooooo weird.  But I love that I can tell what you're doing.

You are getting to where you seem to be uncomfortably compressed, and li'l bud, I empathize. Even now you are trying to get comfortable, as you often do in the late evening, and I think its your knees that are lazily protruding, trying to get into a good spot.  You may have noticed that I also do this all night.  I don't remember what its like to be in there, but when you are all smooshed one way, and then I slosh you all over and smoosh you from totally the other side, I am trying to get my knees in a comfortable place.  I am sorry about this.  We will both be getting a lot less sleep in a few weeks, and its too bad we can't both get comfortable before that storm comes.

Technically I am supposed to be expecting you to struggle for space in there for another 4 weeks or so, but I hear you loud and clear, and I'm cool that you want out early.  Please be as healthy as you need to be to come out, but when you are, dude, we've got 5 sets of open arms awaiting you.  Do it.

I'm glad you'll be showing us your handsome face and doing sudden jazz hands sooner than normal, because I feel really bad that your birthday will be so close to Christmas.  I'm never upset when people are surprised and call me "brave" when they hear how close my kids are- your oldest sister is about 4 and half, and you are the 4th- and it makes me feel kindof awesome.  I really like to surprise people.  I'm not sure why.  In any case, when I was furtively planning when I wanted you to join us on the outside, I selfishly thought that I would like to be able to say that I had kids in 2012, 2013, 2015 and 2016 and I was quickly running out of time.  Who is ever going to ask me about that?  No one, ever.  I will have to bring it up to get the opportunity to say it- but I did not think of this as I was planning on getting my You to me.   So, I'm sorry that your birthday is in the busiest season of the year.  I promise that you can have your birthday any time you like.  We'll have to pick a consistent window of time, though- I don't like unpredictability all that much.  Okay we can discuss it.  Without your dad.  Whatever you say he'll always be on your side, for heaven's sake, and we'd get nowhere.  Okay fine whenever you want.  Georgia has been campaigning for this for at least a year, and Gemma still doesn't say much but I get the feeling that she's building up a case for slip'n'sldes, and her birthday is in May.

Anyhow.

Please have hair.

I think that you are brave.  I hope that that means that you are forthright, and not reckless.  I can work with either, and either way we'll probably push to get you into hockey, but I hope good solid things for you; strength of body and character, and wisdom and faith.  I hope that you will be a leader, whether with a talent for speaking or example doesn't matter, but I see it in you.

The part where I see my babies for the first time but still don't really know what they look like always takes me by surprise, anew.  I'm never sure if you folks are puffy or smooshed or if those are the features that you'll stick with.  I can look back at pictures of the other 3 and see the features that became so burned into my heart, which features I wasn't sure how to organize at first.  I so look forward to recognizing your face.  And kissing your face.  Oh, son, you won't know the difference at first, but I will kiss you more than any mother has ever kissed her perfect little man.  I exaggerate but it doesn't feel like it.  I love the feel of new babies on my lips. So. Much,  I cannot help my self.  I just love it.  Its as good as kissing puppies.  Everybody loves kissing puppies.  Bouncy stretchy warm sweet-smelling skin, and no fur.  Mmmmm-mmm!   If you could turn that into ingredients its would be the perfect pancakes, and the more you have, the happier you are, instead of heartburny and regretful.  You will understand this someday.  It may take 30 years, but you will feel this way, too.

I love you.  I love having you with me all the time.  Its good that God makes the end of pregnancy a bit uncomfortable because its so sweet, it would take a very long time to give you up.  The world can be tough.  I will do everything I can- everything I can- to give you every advantage I can come up with, and then I'll have you let you run.  But I'm so thankful that you start so little, and need me so much.

I'm so excited to see you.  So so excited to see you and hold you with my arms.  Come see me soon.

Love,
Mom